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Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way.
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
I`m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I`m assuming it`s Monday.
And now it`s too hot outside to take down the Christmas lights
Nobody on television curses more than the Roadrunner.
bored out of my mind in class i began staring into space... space happened to be right in front of me at the time...
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
If I had a dollar for every time I had a nickel.......
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
If I could time-travel, forget killing baby Hitler. I`d go back to use every come back I ever thought of 10 minutes too late.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.