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I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
I kind of like it getting dark so early because it gives me a great excuse to just stay inside and watch TV.
This dishwasher sucks. It`s already ruined three of my paper plates.
I`m trying to cut back on posting pics to Instagram, so I`m not going to eat anymore.
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
Whatever it is ... I didn´t do it!
In retrospect, I suppose "harder" wasn`t the best choice of a safe word.
If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
Everyone picks their nose at some point, it`s what you choose to do next that defines who you are as a person.
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page