Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I`ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald`s stops serving breakfast.
A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
There are two types of people in the world: 1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm. 2. Morons.
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
Moms birthday is next week. I can’t find a card that says “I wish you loved me more than vodka.”
God is creative... I mean look at me??
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.
God created the world in 7 days but took 9 months to create me. So clearly I’m a big deal...
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice