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I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Today has me seriously evaluating my policy of not drinking on the job.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
I have 500 friends and only 499 Birthday wishes on facebook! I`ll remember that when it`s YOUR birthday #405!!!
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?