Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
Summer is real cool until every f*ckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell.
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.
Don`t let this historic Cubs World Series win distract you from the fact that Donkey never made Shrek those waffles he promised to make.
If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.
I was discussing with my friend about the popular trends on sex, marriage and values. He says to me, "I didn’t sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" I replied. "I’m not sure, what was her maiden name?"
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...
I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say "Don`t get smart with me!"
The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.
People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.