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"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
Sometimes, you can just tell it`s gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day.
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
?"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Dyslexic Santa
Why does whoop-ass only come in a can?
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
Well, it`s easy to tell I`m single. It`s Saturday night and I`m at home updating my facebook status...
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
Women are like bacon, they smell great, taste delicious and kill you slowly. Men are like bacon because we`re pigs.
Sometimes, half your sh!t is worth it.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.