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I feel ready to face the world as a responsible adult now that I`ve taken today`s gummy vitamins.
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
Einstein was wrong. The real definition of insanity is trying to clean your house when you have children.
Apparently, when asked by a Traffic Cop "Where you going in such a hurry?", "To your sister`s house!" is not considered respectful to a law enforcement official......
Nothing says `I dont take you seriously` like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
Sometimes I mop the carpet just so my wife doesn`t ask me to help with stuff.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
My life is a result of "it seemed like a good idea at the time."
Being normal? Ugh. I can`t imagine how awful that must be.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of itself.
Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.
I laugh in the face of normal.
Good friends do not let you do stupid things….. alone :)
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.