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The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
I`ve just borrowed a book on surgery from my local library. Apparently someone`s taken the appendix out.
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
If its the thought that counts, then I`ve banged so many hot chicks.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
There`s no panic like trying to press "End" when you make an accidental call.
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
A police officer just knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing kids down the road on bikes.. Umm.. My dogs don`t even own bikes?
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
I don`t need a New Years Resolution, I`m already awesome!