Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Stop bitchin about the frigid winter snow. There are kids in Africa who don`t even HAVE weather!
I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
if there wasn´t a last minute I´d never get anything done.
I’m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a super-villain.
I`m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out. We are going to watch tv.
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
What doesn`t kill you makes you have lots of hospital bills.
The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullshit I’ll put up with before I catch on.
My browser asks "are you sure?" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history
What`s the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
My wife asked me what new hairstyle she should get, so I held my breath until I passed out.
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.