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Violently swerving your car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesn`t work like it does with humans. Just in case you need to know.
I made a p@nis out of Legos. A literal c*ck block.
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
I had a terrible dream about mufflers and now I`m exhausted.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
and alcohol are now friends.
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
One of the biggest decisions when you go to college is whether to join a fraternity or just be an asshole on your own.
I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but Iām the only one that matters.
Day 10: I am thankful there are only 20 days left for all my friends to be thankful about how awesome their lives are.
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?