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I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
Never trust a skinny chef
The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
This prefessor`s nuts. He keeps saying pie is square. I know better, pies are round, cakes are square!
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
Question: : What do you get if you add human DNA to a goat? ... Answer: Kicked out of the petting zoo
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
If we could master the look dogs have when we’re eating in front of them, we’d be able to have sex with any woman at will.
The best way to let people remember you is to `borrow money from them`
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
I really think my life would be a lot better if my fitness app would just lower its standards