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Sex is great, but.....Have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?!?!
When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
I took out an ad for a girlfriend recently and 10 guys tried to give me theirs.
I like playing with my dog when I`m high. Because I don`t have one when I`m sober.
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
They should just block cell phone service in movie theaters. Problem solved.
A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.
Sometimes when I’m feeling lonely, I head on over to Best Buy and pretend to know nothing about my phone.