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Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
Me: "Why do all the people I love leave me?!" UPS Guy: "Please Mam, just sign"
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
When people say "To be honest...", it means that up to that point they`ve been lying.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
So apparently putting Alkaseltzer in my pocket while I`m getting baptized and pretending I`m the devil is not funny.
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.
Admit it: you have all tried to rap in the shower..