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She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
Sometimes after a nap, I like to take another nap.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
I cannot turn water into wine but, I can turn ice cream into breakfast so that’s pretty neat.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
I`d stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff.