Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek
Offering someone food and secretly hoping they say no.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
I need my decision making privileges taken away.
If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality comes from morons?
You`re the kind of friend I text when I`m pooping and need something to do.
Life is like a box of chocolates. They never last as long for fat people.
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you`re standing outside watching your house burn.
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...
My wife looks super hot without glasses. That’s why I stopped wearing them.
Every wanna answer every question with a middle finger? That`s kinda where I am today.