Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
If I hit snooze 3 times it should automatically send an email to my boss saying I’ll be out sick.
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
When life hands you lemons it should only remind you to buy more tequila, life is as simple as that.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
Why did the mushroom go to the party because he was the fungi
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
“Is it food time yet?” = The summarization of most of my thoughts.