Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just think: right now, your body is cookin` up some poop.
Calm down mechanic guy. Just here for an oil change. If I wanted to know about all the other shit wrong with my car I`d turn the radio down.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, and that’s how science works.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
You`re never too old to learn something stupid.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
The only time I`ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
life is too short to think twice and act wise....
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
everyone has that one crazy person in there family...but in my case everyone is just as crazy as i am!XD
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."