Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ``try me`` stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross.
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
Every girl is beautiful, sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it....
If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
The guy who used to proofread Hitler`s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
Let`s be honest. The only reason you listen to your voice-mail messages is to make the stupid icon disappear
I`m opening a bar called The Office. You`re welcome guys. "Be home soon sweetie, I`m at The Office"
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
If you go to dinner alone always ask for a table for two. Look sad as you eat and you will almost always get a free dessert
My blood hound was just attacked by a Crip hound.
My plans for GTA 5: Beat the crap outta people, Steal a cops gun, Jack a convertible, Rob a bank, Jump off a building, Go to GameStop, Buy GTA 5