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Apparently, “I had an interview with a better company” is not an acceptable reason for being late for work.
I`m as nutty as a squirell fart
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop and where to spend it
I don`t "get lost". I find creative ways to get places I didnt know I wanted to go.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
Under no circumstances shall a call be made to another male after 2 a.m., unless its to get bailed out of jail.
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
The number of things that are *NOT* rocket science is staggering.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re stupid and make bad decisions.
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.