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I have a feeling I already know which direction my "Get rich or die trying" lifestyle is headed.
Next time you go to the bank and they ask you if you`d like large bills, just look at them dead serious and say "No, normal size ones if you don`t mind."
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" then we both laughed and laughed... And now I need bail money.
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
My inner self is in Photoshop
The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry’s in the oven. I’m going to bed.
I think people who challenge me at Words With Friends are most impressed with my vast knowledge of three letter words.
Video Game Logic: Everyone worse than me is my bitch and everyone better than me has no life.
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
Me: I`m hungry. Fridge: I don`t give a sh*t. Cabinet: B*tch, don`t look at me. Freezer: Lol, you like ice? :-)
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus so that I could slap 8 people at once.