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Nothing says "I mean business" like bringing a shopping cart to the liquor store.
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
I didn`t text you. Vodka texted you.
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Half of my day is just me screaming profanities at an electronic device.
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
Anything is legal when there`s no police around