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I´m not cheap, but I am on special this week
If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.
Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
Alcohol is never the answer. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?"
I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she`s died so I could get out of having to go somewhere
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
My favorite thing about winter...waking up from hibernation!
Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.