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You know vacation should be over when all you do is sit around naked, drinking fruity malt liquor beverages
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
The thing about smart mother f*ckers is... They sound like crazy mother f*ckers to dumb mother f*ckers!
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
If I could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, there is no question. I would want them to be alive.
My wife`s credit cards were stolen last week. I haven`t reported it yet though...because so far, they are spending less than she was.
I was called a village idiot today which really upset me ... I live in a city.
Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!……It’ll take them an hour to pass the salt!
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
Abstinence makes the arm grow stronger ... at least one of them anyway.
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.