Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
WebMD needs to add the question "Have you eaten Taco Bell today?" when asking about stomach-related symptoms.
That horrible feeling you get when you`re not asleep anymore.
I`ll be right with you, I`m busy being inappropriate on the internet.
If I had a mood ring on today, it`d be flashing like a disco ball!
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses...
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
The phrase "the truth shall set you free" does not apply to murder.
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.
I just hope people who say "Jesus is my co-pilot" realize he`s a 1st century carpenter with no time in a flight simulator.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.