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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
When I was your age we had to open all doors by ourselves ... None of them knew we were coming.
It would be a lot easier to drink the recommended 64oz of water a day if it was beer.
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
A day without sunshine is like, you know... night
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
Just ate a sleeve of crackers on my wife`s side of the bed.. I`ll let you know...