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Some will forget, the others are simply women.
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
My tombstone will probably say, "Dead, but finally sober".
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
I don`t get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There`s never any left when he comes home.
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
My view on chocolate: God’s way of saying, “No hard feelings,” to those of us who aren’t getting any.
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
I can’t believe that all these “single ladies in my area” want to meet me, must be due to all the “free Ipads” I’ve been winning.
Odd how all the `intelligent life finding instruments` are pointed away from earth.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
Women my age expect a man to have his sh!t together by now. Time to start dating younger women.
It should really be called teethpaste.
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.
You can’t please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.