Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
I’ve never considered myself much of a conspiracy theorist. Then I discovered the letters in Frito Lay could be rearranged to spell Oily Fart- Coincidence?… I think not!!!
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
Mom: You haven`t moved since I left 5 hours ago? Me: Excuse me, where do you think these chips came from!!???
I named my dog "5 Miles" so I can tell people, "I walk 5 Miles every day"
When I order pizza online, in the "Special Instructions for the Driver" box, I put "Tell me I`m a pretty princess".
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
I`ve honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people
It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly