Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
“Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
Studies show that 99% of Dans are not "the man."
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
My first crush was in kindergarten. I instantly knew I was doomed when she colored Neatly and Perfectly inside every line with a smug, superior smile
Right now my life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
Nobody really dates anymore. You just make eye contact, text, hang out, and next thing you know all her clothes are in your closet....
What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.