Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
I went to Alcoholics Anonymous last week. The first thing they told me to do was to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I stopped going.
Nothing says "I`m behind on child support." like 26" spinning rims on an 86 Chevy Malibu.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
That feeling you get when you meet someone named dick....
HR and I apparently disagree on what "debriefed" means.
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
I say the things better left unsaid.
Don`t blame me, I was born awesome ;)
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
I`m actually kind of handsome when you`re drunk and the light is low and there are no other dudes around and you have low standards.
“Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist