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I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
If I treated others how I wanted to be treated, I`d be doing a ton of spontaneous sexual favors for random strangers.
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
My boss told me to have a good day so I went home.
I do not gossip ... I pass things along ... It`s like a public service.
You can tell a lot from a woman by her hands. For instance, if they`re placed around your throat she`s probably slightly upset.
You guys, how can true love still exist if we don`t have mixed tapes anymore?
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
cuss words = sentence enhancers
Christmas is truly a magical time. It`s made all my money disappear!
Hey ladies! Great news! Those low riding, butt crack, hip hugger jeans are coming back in style!
What is depression? Depression is when you buy a new hula-hoop and it fits you.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.