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Anyone who says "Let`s all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.
If my smartphone was so smart, then why it can`t do my math homework
I like people. I just don`t want them talking to me. Or breathing near me. Or making me look up from my phone.
My favorite thing about marriage is sharing a house with the person most likely to murder me.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
Raise the bar..? Like go and drink upstairs..?
Gun Control: Use both hands
I`d be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
Interesting fact: Prior to the creation of hummus and ranch dressing nobody ate uncooked vegetables.
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
I have a dream that one day I won`t have to work on MLK Day.
I`d hit that. - women drivers
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.