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GF: Does this dress make my a$$ look big? BF: Nope Your A$$ makes the dress look big.
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
So in between the 4 seconds that I missed your call and managed to call ya back, you`ve fallen off the face of the earth?
Is there another word for synonym?
I can`t believe that it`s almost the year 2014 and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you have a person in your basement."?
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
Sometimes I add things to my to-do list that I’ve already done just so I can immediately cross them off.
Sitting out in my front yard pointing a hair dryer at speeding cars to see if any slow down.
Turns out indoor stone throwing is a mistake no matter what your house is made of.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
"Wow! That butterfly`s gonna be HUGE!" - First person to find a mummy
I’m in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.