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I’m single by choice. Not my choice, but still a choice!
Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
"Waiter, I`d like to send this back" -m`am, I believe that`s your husband.
It is kinda at the point where everything in my life is a movie reference
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
Turning on your lights and siren after you lose a drag race is just poor sportsmanship.
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
If you come to myspace and twitter about my yahoo, can I google over your facebook?
If guys were smart, they’d forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
The best thing about smartphones is that you don`t have to refold maps anymore.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?