Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
Hey ladies, you know that feeling you get when you roll over & realize you made a horrible mistake? I could give that to you every day.
“FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!” – Mother Nature
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
If your girlfriend has $15 and you have $30, your girlfriend actually has $45.
Do angry people know about naps?
Nothing good ever came from drinking things that are on fire.
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake