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I’m starting to think that the gym isn’t really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
Bike helmets only protect you from looking cool.
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
Does anyone else get scared when a text reads "Can I ask you a question?"
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
I’m so happy people can’t hear what I’m thinking.
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.