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Iām shy at first, but once Iām comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
It`s not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
I wish I was important enough for my nudes to get leaked.
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of sh!t going on?
Pretty sure one of my ex-girlfriends added the, "are you still listening?" feature on Pandora.
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
If you would`ve told me back in 1999 that we`d still be using animated gifs in 2015, I would`ve said "Wow, what a boring conversation"
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.
Dear wind, what has my hair ever done to you?