Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
Wow!!, What a day..I volunteered at a soup kitchen, mowed my lawn, went to 2 Birthday parties, ran 6 miles, then told a bunch of lies on Facebook.
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
I am Bad and thats Good. I will never be Good and thats not Bad. There`s no one i`d rather be than ME.
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
I`m beginning to think they invented the wireless mouse just so there was one less thing to use to hang yourself with at work.
Hell, I finally figured out what was wrong with me ... I have been reading the wrong horoscope!!
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
If stress burned calories, I’d be a super model.
The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.