Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then have the nerve to ask me why I`m not wearing pants.
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
I`m going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn`t matter... something`s gonna die tonight.
How to live a happy life: 1)Do whatever you want 2)Don`t worry 3)Eat whatever you want 4)Don`t take advice from strangers on the internet
Don`t care what your religious or political beliefs are, if you`re male or female, young or old. I will tackle you hard for that last donut.
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
I was born at a very early age.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .
I ordered an Asian hooker last night. She showed up 2 hours late. She loved me wrong time.