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I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
once a homeless guy said to me `Hey you got a dollar` and I said `wow your absolutely right..with psychic powers like that I`m surprised your still homeless` got in my car and left..
What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?
My pessimism has never failed me, but I`m sure someday it will.
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
Our sex was so good, the neighbors smoked after we finished.
People must stop questioning my sanity, it wont answer them.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
I remember 2012 like it was yesterday.
So long pants! See you Monday!
I just threw up my weekend.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.