Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
If I`ve learned anything from 50 Shades of Grey, its that women still haven`t figured out you can watch porn at home... for free.
Dear person reading this, I could be naked right now and you would never know.
Life is never more confusing than when three people get together to order one pizza.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
Of all the things life has given to me... I would like to return 20 lbs.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Five second rule? Pfft. What`s the point of having an immune system if you`re not going to use it?
I don`t care if you wear footie pj`s or sleep with a Snuggie. If you swish Listerine in your mouth for the full 30 seconds, you are BADA$$.