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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets.
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
All I want is some ketchup packets placed in the bag, without having to ask!
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
Don`t waste my timeline.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
Some days I feel about as useful as the pants in Donald Duck`s closet.
If I could turn snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I could be employed for infinity.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.