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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
Velcro is a ripoff
You don`t know laziness until you rob a bank & choose to wait for the amount you stole to be announced on news rather than count it yourself
Even if I were taking a dump on the moon someone would walk in and sit down in the stall next to me.
β€œDon’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I`m exhausted.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
status uploading
Jingle bells johnny smells, amelia ruled the show, frankies okay, marcus is gay, little mix all the way.. HAY !!!
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.