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There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe…call in sick tomorrow.
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are suppose to be doing something else.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
Are the ATF and border patrols also shutdown? Asking for a Mexican friend....
Don`t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
This year, I`m thankful for all the people that included me in their mass texts wishing me a "Happy Thanksgiving," now I know which numbers to block when Christmas comes around.
You can save a lot of money by walking face-first into a spiderweb every morning instead of buying coffee.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...