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I got kicked out of the pool today ... apperently the breaststroke isn`t what I thought it was.
My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator, where I couldn`t reach them. Then leave chemicals right under the sink.
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
I just want someone to touch me the way a woman touches a pair of shoes she cannot afford.
I can`t stand people who blame everyone else for their problems....I`d be successful and happy by now if it wasn`t for them!!!!
I`m not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
I`m already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit, I`ve given the bird to lots of people today.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts.
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
i wasnt tht drunk u was holding a ballon thinking it was a comdom
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.
thinks it`ll just be my luck to win the Lottery tonight ...... and the world WILL end tomorrow!
You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn`t? ... Yeah, I don`t have one of those.