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If it weren’t for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable.
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
Is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep?
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
There`s no panic like trying to press "End" when you make an accidental call.
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
Are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
Apparently the ``All you can eat buffet`` isn`t a challenge ...
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.