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Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
I’m not saying don’t trust the internet but there’s an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I’ve won & the number of ipads I own.
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
If it wasn`t for claustrophobia, lack of intelligence, and my intense fear of floating poop, I would`ve made a great astronaut.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butt’s.
My doctor told me to eat more bacon cheeseburgers. Well, what he technically said was to eat "less pizza", but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.
The best thing about my phone screen shattering is that it now matches my dreams and aspirations.