Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
Nothing says "high-functioning alcoholic" like being really good at darts.
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
Somewhere, right this minute, someone is reading this sentence.
Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is BS!
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
I’ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date!
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
The self-driving car should have an "I`m Feeling Lucky" button that drives you to a random location.
Life is hard ... It`s harder if you`re stupid.
There are two key elements to success. 1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!