Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
Whenever I’m bored I stop a stranger and ask “where am I?” and whatever they say I runaway screaming “Hahaha I’m a genius! I can teleport!”
The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
Don`t forget: it`s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
I tend to say “I dont know” when I’m too lazy to think.
if your an astronaut, and you don`t end a relationship with "look, I just need space.." then your wasting everyones time
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
I`ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
To hell with the "dislike" button! i think we need a "who cares" button, a "WTF" button and a "STFU!" button. just saying.... Oh and a "lol" button because i just get tired of writing it! lol!
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
If "Cops" has taught me anything it`s to stay away from people with blurry faces, they`re nothing but trouble...
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted