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There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
Instead of exes, they should be called whys.
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
I like to log into facebook and leave a status just to show I`m here. Or am I?
I couldn`t help but notice that I would like to have sex with you more frequently!
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
If you`ve lost your appetite today, I think I have it.
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
I hate when I explain how awesome I am to someone and they pretend to not be impressed.
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...
This is the only way I know how to correctly use a semi-colon ;)
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join an XXX Facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really really big shirts.