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Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
How to know you have a sunburn: Smack the spot. If you scream in pain, its a sunburn
Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
Urgh..I just dropped my phone, are you guys alright?
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
You know its a bad day when your fat pants are tight :(
It’s funny how people get mad when you treat them the same way they treat you.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
Does this couch I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
I dream about naps.