Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.
Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
The day I can get a correct order at a fast food establishment is the day I will support an increase in minimum wage.
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
If I’ve learned anything from Game of Thrones it’s that I need a wolf.
Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
Don`t think I didn`t notice that you deleted your status when no one Liked it.
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?