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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Ever have the experience of staring at an outfit hanging in your closet and wondering which of the personalities did the shopping that day?
I lent my girlfriend ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now she left me and I don’t know what she looks like.
I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
There is something so unique about me, that even I can`t figure it out...
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people.
I don`t always say `oops`, but when I do, it`s usually ten minutes after I have a brilliant idea.
I’ve never pretended to be anything I’m not…except for sober. I’ve pretended to be sober a few times.
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well...my phone number for a start
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.