Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I think that`s how I feel today.
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched.
Why do people say “nice to meet you” before I’ve even said anything? How do you know it’s nice to meet me? I’m a jerk.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
I like to test the waters by pushing people in.
[boss calls me to office] We found a lot of disgusting porn on your computer. Thats a matter of opinion. Some may say it`s the right amount.
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
Sometimes I STOP when it`s not even Hammer time
I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.