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I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
There`s no use worrying about things you can`t control. Except for bodily functions...Hopefully you can control THEM. :/
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
For the record, giving someone the creeps for Christmas is technically not a gift.
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
I tried to be a Rap Singer once. Sadly my rap album, `I Respect the Police & the Risks They Take to Keep My Community Safe`, didn`t do too well on iTunes.
I saved over $1000.00 on Black Friday. I stayed home and didn`t shop.
Today is National Fritters Day. I don`t know what that means, so I just went naked today. Gotta be something like that.
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.