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When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
I gotta go guys. I just found out my lunch break isn`t 3 hours long.
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
Some people think I`m quiet, others wish I was.
lifes a laugh, start living it!
Sometimes a special someone walks right into your life and helps you realize how much better your life was before they walked into it.
This morning someone threw Skittles at me and said "Taste the Rainbow", I ran them over with my car and sang,"Nationwide is on your side"
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.