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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
If you think you’ve hit rock bottom, the only thing that can cheer you up is bringing somebody else down with you.
If you have a tattoo on your face, you`ve lost the right to ask me what I`m looking at.
Statistics say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. Does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
I like my women how I like my straws …. Bendy and full of liquor.
I always try to behave on Friday nights but there are usually too many other options.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
I`m honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.