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Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight. - The Swiss Army
SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won`t be able to see.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
My only argument with using the treadmill, is that I can`t run away from my farts.
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
? Single ? Taken ? Depends on who`s asking.
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
Oh, a spider just landed on my desk... In other news,,, When startled, I can jump 5 feet in the air with just the power of my ass cheeks.
The internet is full of cats because dog people actually go outside.
When it comes to speaking Spanish I know the essentials. "Taco, nacho, burrito, cheeto, frito & no comprendo."
Common sense has become so rare it should be classified as a superpower.