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My friend wants to know if you think Iām hot.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
It`s not working. I`ve napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
I don`t get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There`s never any left when he comes home.
I get a real kick out of people who drive a mile in their car to run a mile on a treadmill.
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
It`s really crazy that you don`t hear a round of applause every time you order a salad.
If you have alphabet fridge magnets, and morals. You probably shouldn`t invite me over.
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
When I die, I am going to haunt the f*ck out of you people.
It`s time to take the next big step in my relationship by popping the question to my girlfriend ....will you get me a beer :) (<>..<>)
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."
My mum`s so old fashioned she thinks LOL = Lots of love. She sent me an SMS saying just to let you know you`re Pa`s in hospital LOL.