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Oh look, it`s raining outside. I think I`ll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don`t have a window of their own.
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
´s status message is better than yours
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
If I were the guy who made the Where’s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn’t there.
Theirye’re, problem solved.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
The phrase "Don`t take this the wrong way." has a zero percent success rate.
I`d like to test the theory that money can`t buy you happiness.
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
I need chapstick on my lips ... anyone want to share ?
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
The fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...