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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Listening to your wife is like reading the terms and conditions of a website. Sometimes you understand nothing, and still you say..."I Agree".....!
When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
Anything I say or do before I`ve had my coffee doesn`t count.
The wet spot in my bed is tears
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.