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7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
Before Walmart, you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.
Don`t worry about old age, it doesn`t last that long.
I’m glad we can’t smell each other through the internet.
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my foot while laying on the sofa so I guess today is leg day.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
Can you shut up now?! Because talking to you sounds less appealing then playing leapfrog with unicorns.
I`ve been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants. Feefiphobia.
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
Calling your girlfriend beautiful because you forgot her name.