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Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese`s pieces
My definition of" Armed and Dangerous" is: a pissed off wife with a bottle of wine, and the credit cards.
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
Valentine’s Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me I suggest you reveal it now.
Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.
My sleep number is 100 proof.
Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
Relationships always start out as "You`re smart and funny." and end up as "You think you know everything and it`s all a joke to you!"
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
i`m my own therapist...which explains so much.
It makes me sad that the closest I`ll ever get to `hulking out` is splitting my trousers when I bend over.
It`s not my official job but basically all I do is piss people off.