Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply
I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
Contrary to popular belief, it`s actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress
All the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting up in my truck.
Life isn`t a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, chances are you are going to walk home barefoot.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
Imagine Ferris Bueller trying so hard not to Instagram his whole day off.
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
I`d be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now
Pro tip for picking up girls - keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
I really don`t get Astrology but I just hope my daughter stays a Virgo until she`s at least 18.
Fun Things to do : Commenting “not your best” on everybody’s selfies.
I’m going to rename my wifi network to “Surveillance Van #02?. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.
So apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn`t the best response. Who knew?